From Mom
This weekend did not go as we hoped it would. I guess we should be used to that already….things not going as we hope they would. Our sweet girl is struggling. She is having a very hard time and so are the doctors that are treating her. I’ve often heard her therapists refer to her as “complicated”. They don’t always know how to approach her situation. She has not reacted as they expected to the treatment which is what led us to this place to begin with. We know God has something great in store for her. That He loves her too much to leave her like this. BUT, it wears on us as parents to see her in so much pain. The past two weeks have seemed like an eternity. I can’t imagine having to do much more of this. Last night I was walking around the house thinking about how much I couldn’t stand this. How much I want her home. My cousin told me at the beginning of this process that I had to be strong and practice numbness. Well, I’m not sure I had anything to do with it but the numbness has set in. I realized last night that no matter how much I cry and how unfair I think it is that our little girl is having to go through this, it will not change the situation. This is in God’s hands. He has it. It will be in His time and that, as a mom, drives me absolutely crazy. I know He knows my heart. And, not that I am in any way comparing this to Jesus’ suffering on the cross, but I know that God knows exactly how I feel because He too had to endure His child’s suffering.
On Sunday night she spoke to my mom on the phone (she calls the “Abuelos” on the weekend since we see her at visitation) and my mom asked her what was wrong since she noticed that she wasn’t her usual self. She responded to her in Spanish. If you know my kids, you know their Spanish is very limited. Her response was “esto no es facil Abuela, pero Dios esta conmigo”. This is not easy Abuela, but God is with me.
So, we continue to hang on to Him for strength. That’s what she is doing.
Thank you for your prayers.
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