Day 11

From Mom,

As parents one of our biggest fears is that we cannot, or have failed to, protect our children. My biggest struggle throughout this journey has been the fact that I cannot make things better for my child. I know that God is in control and she is in His care. I know that He will use all of this for good and that He makes all things beautiful in His time. That’s where we get stuck. It’s in His time, not ours. I want my little girl well. I want her whole and home with us. When we started researching facilities that would meet her needs we came across an article about the stages of “grief” that kids go through when away from home and in a place like this. We knew that it would get harder for her as the days went on but that doesn't prepare you for the sobbing phone calls and the pleas to bring her home. I don’t know how people do this without the Lord. I can’t imagine having the kind of strength it takes to sit there and try to reassure your child when your own heart is aching to just bring her home.

My baby is having a hard time. She doesn't understand why this is happening (not that any of us do). She’s trying to hold on to God and His promise to never leave her nor forsake her. But she’s a child and in the midst of her despair she wonders if He has forgotten about her. How do you make a 13 year old understand that sometimes things need to get worse before they get better? That she will have a great story to tell one day, a story of redemption, of mercy and of grace? She feels alone right now and wonders if indeed God will rescue her from  this. And so we struggle with not being able to make things better and having to wait on Him because we know that He is the only one that can.

Please pray for peace for our girl and our family. Pray that God holds her when we can’t, and that she feels Him and sees His hand at work in her life. Pray that God strengthens us when we are weak so that we can be strong for her. It feels like this road gets longer and longer with each passing day and sometimes we wonder how we are going to get through the next day, the next phone call, the next doctor’s theory. But we know that He is good and He carries us when our load gets too heavy.

Thank you for your continued prayers, love and support for our daughter, for our family.